I Do Hard Things So That I Can.... Do Hard Things

Today, a girl in relief society said that.

And it stuck.

It's so true isn't it?

Remember my first week in Peru? It was HARD.

I was sick the entire time. I was exhausted. We had black mold carpeting our ceiling. I couldn't understand anyone. I shivered myself to sleep every night and woke up at least 6 or 7 times each night out of discomfort, frozen-ness or bugs biting me. We didn't know where or how to buy food. We didn't have a refrigerator or carpet. We didn't have washers or dryers. We didn't have hot water. We didn't have an oven. We didn't have family close by. Most of the days we didn't have running water or electricity. Gosh. It was hard.

At the end of that first week, I told my parents that I was booking my first flight out of there because this was just too hard.

Well, I stayed. And it was still hard, but it got easier. We learned to do with out and make do with what we had. We learned to love our living conditions and those around us. And after a HARD first week, I had three of the best months of my life.

That really hard first week and those challenging three months have prepared me for this next chapter of my life.

See if you can find the parallels.

I know nobody in Riverton, thus I was searching anxiously for a place to stay. Last minute, I found a family who was renting a room out of their basement. So without any further questions, I loaded up and drove to Riverton to move in.

I moved in and was put in a room in the basement...with carpet!! Looking good so far right? I have a place to live! Well not really. Because they weren't planning on having somebody move in so soon, so they weren't really ready for me.

I had no refrigerator to put my food. No oven or stove to cook my food. No sink to rinse my vegetables or wash my dishes. No counters to prepare my food on. No toaster, microwave, toaster oven etc. Essentially no kitchen. I also had NO money. I spent every last penny in Peru and couldn't even afford to pay the $20 bucks a month they were asking to use the laundry room. So I was without a washer and a dryer as well.

But guess what? This was nooo big deal to me! My mom  kind of wanted me to move out of there asap and find something a little bit more suited to my needs, or at least the needs of a normal person... but I had spent the last three months living in such uncomfortable circumstances that a few weeks with out any means to keep/cook/wash/prepare my grub seemed like cake. And it was!  Eventually, the so called "necessities" started popping up, a fridge here, hot plate there. I'm still without a sink or running water, but hellooo that's what the hose outside is for right?

I did those "hard" months in Peru, so that I could do these "hard" weeks in Riverton. So grateful for that prep.

Here's another one.

Remember how we shipped ourselves off to a foreign country where we did not speak the language? Yeah I do. Ohh how my head would ache as I'd desperately try and understand what these people were desperately trying to communicate to me. It expended my brain power like none other I tell you.

Well guess what. I just started a job in a building of 1300 people who speak a completely foreign language. Servers, Oracle, Beach Picture Apps, Remedy,Configuration Items... and don't even get me started on the acronyms! SM, DTE, NPS, EIM, KPI, DSA, CAB, COB, EDDI. Seriously, I almost wish that they were speaking Spanish.

Lesson Number One in ICS lingo

It's hard. But I was totally prepared for it by my time in Peru. I'm used to that "Oh my gosh, they're saying something important, and I'm trying really hard to understand it.. but I'm totally lost" feeling, and I know that I'm a fast learner and that I'll catch on to the language in time.

So everyday as a new "hard" thing comes up...(i.e. My car is a goner so now I'm living and working in this brand new city...with my two feet as my only means of transportation..) I know that I'm doing them in preparation for... more hard things. You can look at that as a downer... my whole life is and forever will be hard, or you can look on the bright side. Either way, the hard times keep on comin'.

So perhaps the fact that I have to wake up an hour and a half earlier than usual so that I can walk to work in the chilly mornings (tomorrow it's supposed to rain... not sure how that'll work out), is simply preparation for another hard time coming.  I'll be ready for it.

Love, Noelle

Why Aren't We Laughing?

Remember how on Pinterest the following saying was being posted like crazy? You may not recall, but I do. And here's why:

I remember it partly because I didn't like it, and mostly because I didn't get it. I can pretty much not relate to this quaint, little phrase one bit!

I've made plans my whole life. I remember at a young age (maybe 10 or so) hearing the word Valedictorian for the first time, and making a plan at that moment that I was going to graduate 8 years later with that title.

I made plans to get involved. To be an efy counselor. To work in the Kimball building. To memorize documents that are important to me. To learn Spanish. To get healthy.

Eight months ago, I made a huge plan that (to be honest) I didn't really think would follow through. I decided that I wanted to travel and do humanitarian work, and I decided that I wanted to intern for the church. These were two things that I have dreamed about for a long time, but they just didn't seem in my reach. 

But, I planned on them anyway. Lo and behold, those dreams became plans, and those plans became a reality. Here I am, living in Utah, interning for the Church after having just spent three of the best months of my life serving in Peru.

I have my graduation plans all lined up. I have a plan for another internship. I have plans for exactly where I want to work when I graduate. I have plans to marry in the temple and raise the cutest little family that you ever did see. I have plans to run a marathon. I have plans to make a difference. I have plans to see more of the world. Oh do I have plans....and I tell God my plans.

 And you know what.... I'm not hearing much divine laughter.

Love, Noelle

10-year-mark

Today, May 1st, marks the ten year anniversary of when I first got "sick". I remember it because it was the day we moved back into the valley from South Lake Tahoe, CA and the May-Day dances were being held.

That is the first day that I remember feeling "sick". Essentially, this means that I have been living with Stills Disease or Juvenille Rheumatoid Arthritis for the past ten years. Can you believe it? I can. In fact, it almost seems likes it's been longer. It's hard to remember a time when I was without this constant companion of mine.

It's hard to remember a time when I didn't worry about my joints deteriorating and becoming more and more mangled as I grew up. It's hard to remember a time when I didn't dread the rain storms and humidity that would surely cause my body to ache and stiffen.

But it's also hard to remember a time when I was miserable. While it's been surely been a challenge, it hasn't been unbearable. It hasn't been impossible. It hasn't been miserable. It's been fine. It's been great even.

Ten years ago I may have felt like I would not have a normal life and be able to do the things that I wanted to. Yet in those ten years, I have not ONCE been stopped from doing something that I wanted to because of Stills. I have climbed mountains, traveled, played sports, danced, served, loved, and carried on throughout life as happy as I possibly could be.

Ten years. Wow. TEN YEARS!

Time Flies.

Love, Noelle

Oh Brother..

I could write an entire book about the adventures of me and my three little sisters. Filled to the top with inside jokes. "It's all your fault. It's all your fault" "There's homies in the kitchen" "Come, come, come. Are you in good hands?" "Hi is Claire here? Let's try that again. *Door Slam*" (p.s. if you haven't heard the story of that last one, you MUST ask Natalie to reenact it, I've never laughed harder in my life!)

I could also tell you of the good times I've had up at school with my two brothers that are closest to me in age, Daniel and Travis.

I could go on and on and on about my amazing parents and about how good they are to me and my sibs.

But I won't, because this post isn't about any of them. This here post is about my two eldest brothers, Derrick and Brandon. I don't think I've mentioned them all too much on this blog, probably because they were both moved out of the house before I was even in middle school, so I don't have too many memories of growing up with them... but I do know a bit about them now and think that these are two of the finest men I have ever been privileged to know., so this post is for them.

First of all, Derrick.

 I think that he and I have a lot more in common than first meets the eye.  He's the oldest of the boys, I'm the oldest of the girls, so we've got that goin' for us. I love his desire to succeed and make something of himself. I see that same desire mirrored in myself and love the example that he has set of it.

Derrick brought his wonderful little family to our house these past few weeks. Oh how I loved having them there! I noticed that whenever Derrick would talk, I felt like I should pull out a pen and paper to start taking notes because what he has to say is important (usually :) and I know that I could learn so much from this kid.

Another thing that I noticed about Derrick in the few days that he spent with us is that he truly loves and cares about his family. When I see him interacting with our siblings, asking questions, giving advice, just talking about life etc., it makes me want to do that with my siblings too. It makes me want to follow his example of being an interested, caring older sibling. ( Even if his idea of being "interested" is mortifying you by posting super embarrasing, yet slightly hilarious things on your fb wall) Gosh, I am just really grateful for his example and the kind of person he is. I am also oh so incredibly pleased with the fact that he brought two of the greatest ladies I know into the family with him, Brittney and Molly. Double bonus!



Now for Brandon.

Is he not the cutest?

Confession: Whenever I get asked who my favorite sibling is, about 50% of the time, my answer is Brandon. I don't really have a good reason why, because of course I don't have a favorite sibling, but if I did, he'd be a pretty good one.

Let me just tell you why I love him so much today.

I have a car. It is a beast. It has given me so much angst lately. It has made me late for work. It has made me miss my activities. It has made me have to run home from work in shorts a tshirt and cold, cold weather. Needless to say, it has been a stressor in this life of mine.

Ok back to Brandon. This is actually the car that Brandon has been using (why it worked nicely for him and not me... the world may never know) So, super nice thing #1gggg: Brandon is letting me use the car that he has been using, leaving him without a vehicle so that I might have one to get me to and from work. What a nice guy no?

Super nice thing #2: He spent his Saturday afternoon in Riverton with me trying to fix my car. He borrowed his buddies truck so that he could bring my bike up to me and then got to work on trying to get my car running a little smoother, or at least getting it to start on command. Being here in this brand new city  and knowing absolutely no body, it was so comforting to know that just 30 minutes away I had a brother who was nice enough to find a way into Riverton and spend several hours working on a car in my behalf. What a good guy huh!

Me, Brandon, a car. How fitting, no?

As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that Brandon reminds me a lot of my dad, who is just an all around stellar guy, so maybe that's why I dub him as my favorite sibling. Either way, I am one lucky girl to have such good, kind big brothers who are always willing to take care of their little sis.

And I will be forever grateful for that,

Love, Noelle

Will Somebody Please Tell Me What I Was Thinking...

.....When I stood in the Kimball building waiting to be interviewed for a position that I had no clue about what-so-ever??
Confession: As I stood waiting for my interview, I came this close to canceling it THIS many times.

And would somebody please enlighten me as to why I kept interviewing for this said position that I STILL had no clue about?
Confession: They were phone interviews, and everytime my phone rang, I came THIS  close to ignoring the call, and throwing it all away.

And while we're at it, will another one of you please tell me why I'm packing up everything I own to do something that scares me silly?
Because as I sit here, I cannot for the life of me figure this one out.

Here's a whole lot of "Never Have I Evers" that I'll be able to check off in the next three days.

Never Have I EVER

• Lived in Utah
• Moved somewhere all by myself with no beforehand knowledge of ANYONE I will be living with... or even near for that matter
• Worked 40 hours a week at a REAL job where what you do actually matters
• Taken online classes
• Worked 40 hours a week WHILE taking 14 online credits. Kill me now.
• Had a $5.23 balance in my bank account.
• Driven on the freeway by myself (I know, it's pathetic, but I think that last time I even drove on the freeway was when I had my permit!)

Ok, ok. Now that that's out of my system..

Ready or not Riverton, Here I come!

It would be a lie for me to say that I'm excited for this next chapter in my life, because I truly have never been so scared in my entire life. I just have to document how totally freaked out I am. Leaving for Peru  seemed like a breeze compared to this and I think it's because I had Brittany and Abigail to rely on. I am for the first time, officially and completely on my own.

Wish me luck!
Love, Noelle

21 is the New 55

Today I was sitting doing virtually nothing, when all of a sudden something happened to me that I didn’t think happened to people until they were in their mid 50’s.

Ready for this?

I couldn’t remember how old I was!!!! Can you believe it? I surely couldn’t. I sat their racking my brain, trying to remember if I was 20 or 21. I went back and forth! No I’m not 21 yet, because I can’t have my papers in. Oh wait, I just had a birthday 2 months ago…was it my 20^th or my 21^st?  I became frantic and finally resulted to the tried and true, only way to know exactly how old one is.

Yes I did the math.

And discovered, much to my surprise that I was indeed 21.

Is that not the most bizarre thing you’ve ever heard? I’m losing it I tell you!

Love, Noelle

Do You Want To Have a Party at My House?

We have friends! They are Peruvian and they are our age and we have quite a few of them!  Thus, we are planning a fiesta!  A true, blue, all the fixings college party. Granted, it will be a BYU-I style party…and twill be in Peru…thus it will be nothing like anyone has ever seen before!

After spending several days with our new friends who are our age, we’ve come to realize how different our customs are from theirs. While we love being in Peru and learning about their culture, we’re excited to show them a little bit of good, old  YSA American fun.

Here’s the catch… we don’t have a curfew…. Except for the fact that if our guests don’t leave by 7:30, they will have no way of getting home since public transportation shuts down at that time.

I’m pretty sure that parties up at school don’t even begin til like 8ish and ours has to be over by 7:30. This puts a damper on things but we’ll make it work. Brittany suggested a slumber party :)

We’re thinking campfire with marshmallows, homemade pizza, games that don’t involve too much explanation or talking J (Charades, Murder, pudding Pictionary, keys) You know, the college go-to’s..

Also, it’s going to be a dance party, we’re busting our buns trying to prep ourselves for the big Prom dance coming up, but we want to teach them how a true “Party in the  Hart” dance goes down.

Suggestions are appreciated! 

-Elia